wilderness path

a significant inner journey

THE LARGER FAMILY DOES NOT ALIENATE

 Tuesday, February 13, 2018

 Desert Spirit

 

Sunday, February 11, 2018

 

RONALD ANDRACH

PO BOX 184

CRESCENT CITY FL 32112-0184

 

Hello Ron,

      Allow me to introduce myself. My name is David Salas.

      You may have heard that I have recently made contact with my sister Lori Salas through email contact as well as mailing a correspondence to her at your PO BOX.  So this message is to shed light on why I have reappeared in her life, and consequently yours. Your perceptions may be colored by her prejudices about me and her judgments of me. Therefore let this correspondence be beneficial to you only to the degree it shines a light for you as to who I am, based on a direct message from me to you, rather than a perception of me Lori might color for you. If you wish to know exactly who I am, by all means find out for yourself. Do not rely on Lori’s myopic perception of me to prejudice you. 

     My intentions are simple; it is to provide a view of myself to which you have not been introduced due to the idea, as stated recently by Lori, that I have “alienated” myself from “family”. So with this desire to not “alienate” myself from anyone, I offer these sentiments to you. I trust you will find the space within yourself to receive them and not find them alienating. 

     You may do with this message as you please. You may share it with her, and engage in an interesting discussion with her if you are remotely interested in who I am, or you may toss it in the garbage. It matters little to me. Its only purpose is to ascribe to it my desire to extend myself to you. 

     For clarification I would just like to start off by saying that the idea that I have somehow alienated myself I perceive to actually be the other way around. There are various members of the “Salas family” who have alienated themselves from me due to, in my perception, their fear OF and refusal to deal WITH their past, a past that, according to Lori, does not exist.  

     As I feel this is highly inaccurate, that the past does not exist, and that it is inherent in me to bring this untruth to clarification, I will only briefly mention that Lori feels I am “living in the past” as stated by her who IS living in the past, although she does not even realize it or to what extent. 

     We cannot move forward in our sacred earth walk until we have dealt WITH the past, because until we DO deal with our past we are destined and doomed to REPEAT the past. Therefore, those who heal their past live in a clean, clear untarnished present that those who live in the past perceive another’s present to BE “the past”. And that is because they still perceive FROM a past.

      Lori lives in a past that she feels does not exist because she is too afraid to look AT her past. That is why it remains suppressed in her. When I attempt to introduce this to her, she becomes highly unstable and emotional. That is because there is a great deal IN Lori’s past with which she has not dealt. She can “escape her past” only by alienating herself from me who would introduce her TO her past. This is why she is estranged from me, but places the blame of her strained relationship with me ON me.

      Lori lives in the past, unbeknown to herself. I live in the present, where my past is not repeated, because through recovery and introspection that past has been healed. I have a clear memory OF the past, but do not live IN the past. The proof is that I am not afraid to revisit it, unlike Lori. That is why we are not able to meet IN the present. I reach to her past to bring her to my present, of which she is frightened. And so she tells me “Get help. You need a therapist”.

      I find her fear of me very humorous. The irony is that over the years I have offered her 12 Step Recovery, Co-Dependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and help working with a therapist. Yet she feels none of these things, which I have employed in MY life, have been helpful TO ME, while she who has utilized NONE OF these sacred tools ARE NOT helpful to her. Do you not find that a bit peculiar? She thinks a man will “save” her, as long as that man is gainfully employed or financially secure.

      A person who lives in the present is not afraid to speak of or reveal the past, while someone like Lori who has not dealt with her past has avoided it, suppressed it, denied most of it, has conveniently forgotten it, and therefore sees anyone who reveals a past as “living in the past”. Yet as I stated, they who have not dealt with their past are still living in the past. 

     The proof of Lori’s refusal to deal with her past is you, Ron Andrach, which is part OF her past, a past she claims does not exist. The irony of Lori’s words to me, “You are living in the past” would be more accurate for her, since Ron Andrach IS her past.

         For the purpose of you understanding who I am as I am related to Lori through a biological connection and to others, I will say I incarnated into what you may know as “the Salas family” of which your partner, Lori Salas is a part. I say “partner” because I do not know what your affiliation is with her.

       I am the second son born of the parents Lorraine Salas and John Salas, who are now deceased. You probably know of this family system as it has been described to you by the sibling, Lori Salas, however your perceptions may be prejudicial as you may not have had the luxury of a personal meeting with each of the members. Yet these members are listed below along with my current understanding of their respective lives:

 BEVERLY SALAS                                                                                            

PATRICIA  SALAS

JOHN SALAS      

myself

LORI SALAS

MICHAEL SALAS

SUSAN SALAS

PETER SALAS

      Several years ago Nicholas Salas was killed when he recklessly drove his motorcycle into a thicket of Pine trees. Nicholas was the biological child of Susan Salas. When I was contacted by a “family” member about his death, I attended the funeral. What was interesting about this was that I was approached by the husband of my niece, Diana Burkhart, who introduced himself to me whom I had never met, probably because I “alienated” myself from Diana and her husband.   At that first and only meeting with him, Diana’s husband said to me, “I have heard a lot about you. I am pleased to meet you, David”. I felt this interesting. Any perceptions he had OF me were based on Diana’s perception of me.

     And so for this reason I would like to clear up any perceptions you have of me based on Lori’s perceptions of me. I do this for myself and not because I need you to acknowledge me. From there you can formulate your own conclusions.

      The “family” as many like to call it, including Lori, is a biological system in which bodies are thrown together for the purpose of spirit within these bodies coming together to find a common thread.  I mean to say we are all part of a Larger Family I call Creation, to which I have given my time and energy. In doing so this allows for the spirit to grow beyond the biological family system. Those who subscribe to the notion that the body is our reality will find the biological “family” sacred and the spirit not real and therefore fearful. At the same time there will be from these people prejudices about and toward OTHER families and family members who do not agree with them who think otherwise, like me for example.

      And so families that live and love together actually separate themselves from other families. This separation is then an alienating of oneself AND the family from the Larger Family. The Larger Family is that to which all spirit beings belong, sharing the same Source. When individuals do not acknowledge this truth, they cling to their “family”. Family can be social, educational, political and even religious.

      You may see that within these “family systems” there is no unity, as each group segregates itself from the other groups; “my family against your family”. “Family” then becomes the denial OF the Larger Family of which we are all an integral part. The word FAMILY actually comes from the word FAMILIAR. Those who feel familiar with others cling to each other, which constitute the concept of “family”. Those who do not are seen as UNFAMILIAR to the “family”.

       I evolved beyond the biological family of “the Salas’” with my introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous in 1985. This afforded me the opportunity to become a part of the Family of Recovery. Over the years this adherence to the Larger Family and recovery family has allowed me to heal my past and move forward. It is for this reason I do not live in the past, but I DO have a healthy memory OF the past. There is a vast difference between the two.

       When this opportunity to recover the wounds and pain of my past was introduced to me by, ironically, a “member of the Salas family”, I grew beyond their respective understanding of me. I encouraged them to join me in the recovery process, yet each one decided against that, seeing recovery as a threat rather than the blessing that it is. This then became a perception of “alienation” from the “family”, although the alienation was actually due to their inability or refusal to embrace recovery for themselves and join with me.

      And so to date each of the “family” continues to live in the suppressed past of their respective unhealed minds, Beverly in her alcoholism and co-dependency, Patricia in her narcotics addiction and co-dependency, John in his alcoholism and co-dependency, Lori in her co-dependency and addiction to prescription drugs, Michael in his co-dependency and addiction to prescription drugs and Peter in his co-dependency and addiction to religion.

      In mentioning Susan I will say that she is the only member, other than me, who sought recovery. This places her outside the realm of this “family”. They therefore have alienated themselves from her also. Yet I wonder how any one of them would have handled the death of their own child, as Susan had to endure in the passing of Nicholas her son?

      Lori has a long, long history of drug abuse and manifesting men who are abusive. She feels being a “Christian” somehow absolves her of dealing with her past. She is the antithesis of healing, recovery, sanity and health, in my humble estimation.

      I will share with you as I recall them, Lori’s past affiliations with men to whom she has introduced to me; there was Donnie, verbally abusive individual who eventually took his own life after his burn out on prescription drugs with which he and Lori heavily medicated themselves due to Donnie having an accident/fall in a restaurant which resulted in a back injury. There was Wayne, alcoholic and cocaine addict who occasionally smacked her around until he wound up in the hospital after Michael and I paid him a visit. And finally there was “Scotty”, real name Derek, alcoholic and woman hater, to whom Lori clung due to his financial status, whom Lori eventually divorced with resources I loaned to her. He too was a physical abuser who liked to hit woman, including Lori.

      So you can begin to detect a pattern of Lori manifesting unhealthy men in her life, although she would never admit this and claim this was because “they” were sick, thereby absolving herself of finding a therapist to determine why she would continue to manifest and become dependent on emotionally broken small men. It is at this point I was brought into her life to provide to her a financial solution to her dilemma, and I loaned her several thousand dollars with her promising me she would use the money to divorce him.

      So I am not so sure about your history with Lori other than some high school picture she shared with me, nor is it any of my business. I am only aware that you and she were joined briefly in your younger years. Nor do I wish to paint a perception of you for myself. I will leave to you to determine if you wish to extend yourself to me and share yourself with me. If not, then so be it.

      As I began this message, it was essential FOR ME to extend myself TO YOU. Yet I may not have done so had it not been for a recent email exchange with Lori who stated that I had alienated myself from “the family” when I requested to her to repay money I gave her as a gesture of gratitude and thankfulness. Instead she alienated herself from me by telling me to never contact her again.

      In her own words, Lori explained to me that “No one wants to have anything to do with you”. I find it interesting, as the last contact I had with Lori was when she lived in Crystal River, and began visiting you. At that time she worked for a courier and she asked me to take over her work so that she could move in full time with you. I denied the invitation as at the time I was gainfully self-employed.

       On a final note I wish to share with you that some time in 2016 I visited my mother Lorraine Salas who was living with my brother Peter in Monroe, Georgia. Over the years I have shared with Lorraine the concepts of recovery, as she was married to John Salas who was an abusive alcoholic and sex addict.

      I also introduced her to the Larger Family, attempting to communicate that we are all part of One Source, and therefore she was not responsible for my birth, meaning the birth of my spirit. This was misconstrued and misperceived to be my rejection of her. This message then touched others in “the family” that was equally misinterpreted by them. Consequently it was determined, by Lori and the others, that I had “alienated” myself from all of them, including Lorraine, rejecting Lorraine as my mother, which is a misinterpretation of my message to Lorraine.

      Nevertheless their misperceptions of me and my intentions were their justifications for not contacting me when Lorraine passed in October of 2016. Not a single one of them had the courtesy or decency to pick up a phone to say, “David, regardless of my personal feelings about you, you should at least know that mom is in the hospital and requests to see each of her children”, or “David, mom passed last night. I thought it was right for you to know this”. I did not know of these events until February of 2017, over 5 months after the fact until I was contacted by a complete stranger.

      So I present to you, Ron, for consideration how such an experience may have sat with you had your “family” decided that because you had no contact with them, that you should not be contacted regarding the passing of your mother.

      With this fact, I leave with you a perception of a level of a sickness in this family and its respective members that cannot even be described in words. Would you argue with my desire to have nothing to do with any of these creatures?

      The last visit to my mother she shared with me a picture of Lori, Patricia, Beverly and Michael in Beverly’s home. I asked, “What is this?” Lorraine replied, “A family reunion”. I asked how it could be a family reunion when half the “family” was missing, including herself. These days I imagine they ingratiate themselves with their respective Facebook pages as they cling together to discuss their meaningless lives, compare “family” pictures and participate in innuendo gossip.

    Thank you for this time to introduce myself and sharing a small part of myself and life with you. You are free to do with this message as you wish.

      I will leave this with you.