"It is Your Ways to which I must bend,
rather than attempt to bend You to my ways."
Foundation of Consistency and Certainty
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
I walk with God in perfect holiness, perfect sinlessness, perfect guiltlessness, perfect formlessness. This is my holy instant of release from time, space and the ego-thought system of personal attachments and investments.
Now I come to receive the Thoughts of the Wise and respond according to my part in the Great Awakening of my spirit. What will You have me do this day, where will You have me go, what will You have me say and to whom? Thy will be done. Decide for me for my life, Great Corrector of minds.
I am thankful I do not have the ‘emotional’ attachments the personal mind has sought to make important to my mind. Does this make me uncaring, unfeeling? Or does it make me more receptive to the mind that is uncaring and unfeeling towards it’s Self?
Why must I share in the misery of another world that never has brought any relief from despair? For the searching for love in a world of form is a bottomless pit. I watch as others suffer with personal attachments to the body, and it seems to me the true meaning of hell must lie in investment the mind makes of form. It is the time and value spent in and on the personal that makes one weary, and when the personal is threatened or it changes, there is devastation.
So now it becomes more clear to me the personal has been that which I have attempted to evade, although many a relationship I have encountered the personal has attempted to be the ruler, and subjected me to deep despair, depression and sorrow, as a personal investment always will.
Today I look to Your Guidance as I continue to try to participate in the undoing of the personal mind and its investments in the world of time and space and form, and see this is the lesson given in every experience. I pray others will see the valuelessness and inconsistency of the personal and place not their trust there. And in the reclamation of the Impersonal Self no longer allow the personal to be a source of regret, unhappiness and sorrow.
So be it now.
“It is done.”
Now my lesson reads,
“We are not inconsistent in the thoughts that we present in our curriculum.”
You and the Others are not inconsistent, but where have I been inconsistent? Where have I fluctuated in my desire to serve two masters? Today you offer the concept of inconsistency, that which is not Your gift to me. And so I can turn to You and the Others and always find he same message. You are always there, waiting to lend Your Hand and Understanding.
It is Your Ways to which I must bend, rather than attempt to bend You to my ways.
My task, as it has always been, as You say, is not to seek for love, but seek and find the barriers within myself that I have built against true love, an impersonal love that is all encompassing and is not selective or special or fragmented.
The light is given to the uncertain and inconsistent mind. In my travels to You and the Others do I see a consistency in my need to keep important this Relationship. For I see the consequences of reliance on a false self world. I see the pitfalls of looking for a ‘better’ way.
Now I come to look upon all the ways I have been inconsistent, where I have been unstable or have relied on ego to guide me, an ego that attempts to teach me I must be ‘independent.” Yet independence and ego cannot co-exist.
It can only be my perceptions of myself that are not constant. And as I fluctuate between what I think are two worlds, I find myself giving value to both, splitting myself, my mind, and fragmenting my thoughts. In this does ego reveal the consequences of abandoning it for my protection. For I have relied on it and its fantasies to ‘save’ me, and its foundation is unstable.
Now upon which my feet have stood and have been firmly planted, the unstable foundation opens up under me.
AERIAL VIEW OF GUATEMALA SINK HOLE
And I drop into an abyss without light, without a bottom, a pit of despair out of which I feel I may never climb. The foundation of my personal world has collapsed under me. And I free-fall. For ego has offered me no safety net, no safety line in its unstable, inconsistent, every-changing world.
Now I look to the Foundation of Consistency and Certainty that You have forever offered me. You have allowed me the personal journeys, and have allowed me to free-fall, knowing my cries to you would bring Your Hands cupped to catch me. In this remembrance I will rise out of the bottomless pit of despair. For the world has no support, and the ego’s world of personal attachments is forever unstable and untrustworthy.
I will build my world not upon such unstable and inconsistent rumors. But I will remember I am here to contribute to the Liberated Self, until my time is done and I am seen no more. This is my prayer of constancy to You. Extend it where You wish it to be used.
So be it now.
“It is done.”