wilderness path

a significant inner journey

 

“The words,

You wasted twelve years of your life

are not a truth FOR me.

Yet the words of the insecure whose actions demonstrate this truth

must be a blessing TO me.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Desert Spirit

 

 

VENGEANCE OF THE INSECURE

August 25, 2015

Desert Spirit

 

     Today my lesson reads,

 

"The ego believes it is completely on its own,

which is merely another way of describing how it thinks it originated.

 

"This is such a fearful state that it can only turn to other egos

and try to unite with them in a feeble attempt at identification,

or attack them in an equally feeble show of strength.

 

"It is not free, however, to open the premise to question,

because the premise is its foundation."

 

     Now I come to receive the Thoughts of God and respond according to my part in the Great Awakening. What will You have me do this day, where will You have me go, what will You have me say and to whom? Your Will be done.

     This must be true, regardless of where I think I am and how I think I arrived here today.

     Now the thoughts and images of others come to me, ofwhich I will now speak...    

    

     You, my Teacher, tell me that the answer always comes through my brother. Who is my brother? You say “Spirit is immortal”. Yet without an understanding of who or what I am, I could not understand just who my brother is. You tell me it is spirit who speaks to me through the brother, and so if spirit speaks to me then spirit must speak to them.

     She said to me that her loyal friends offered her the words, “You wasted twelve years of your life”. The words, “You wasted twelve years of your life” I look upon as what they may mean to me.

     The words, “You wasted twelve years of your life” are not a truth FOR me. Yet the words of the insecure whose actions demonstrate this truth must be a blessing TO me.

     Perhaps to measure these words from the level of the ego-thought system, from the body level, and from the level of an understanding that the body is reality, and its “laws” are part of reality, the words may be true. They would be true if one is to measure them by the “successes” and “failures” by which an ego-based being lives, under the misguided guidance of ego.      

     For what have I done, for twelve years, within the context of the experiences that were measured by others who offered such words?

     My memory reveals an apartment on a lake in Tampa, Florida, and the services of locksmith and a relatively secure occupation and living arrangement. I want for nothing. I need nothing. They want to GIVE me things I neither want nor need. To be self-sustaining would have no need of others and one provides his services TO others and to the world.

     My memory recalls extending to whoever may be remotely interested in the principle, “Know THYself”. And from this the Universe placed onto my path those who I assumed were interested in this.

     And so in the understanding this WAS important TO another, as it was important to me, I relocated to a place where this exchange of inner understanding may be further developed, seeming ideal surroundings. And so it was, for twelve years.

     As it is with anything of this world, the mind that seeks to GET rather than GIVE must eventually come to a place where it realizes it cannot or does not or will not get what it thinks it wants, because ego is eternally empty. And so the mind will seek to get from other sources. In perception, each being must decide how this will look.

     To waste twelve years of one’s life implies what one sought to GET was NOT gotten, and therefore would BE a waste of twelve years. Yet a twelve year study of “Know THYself” would completely liberate oneself from insecurities, and must move the mind to the next level of inner understanding. In this perception, twelve years are not wasted. For no day has been wasted in seeking to know thyself.

     If the eternally empty seek to satisfy this externally or expect it to be provided BY another, then indeed it would be a great waste of time to spend twelve years attempting to get from another and never achieve this objective. And in the despair of such a realization, one would HAVE to exact FROM the relationship ANYTHING it could salvage in an attempt to take FOR itself that to which it feels it is entitled.

     In the present, today, the question becomes, “Am I still seeking outside myself for whatever I think another is supposed to provide?A 12 year mantra, such as, “My husband left me” or “My children left me” or “My wife left me” must inevitably manifest the conditions to which these words are applied. And so it becomes, “After twelve years, he also left me, when the money was gone.”  Today the question is, “Who am I and what do I extend to my brother?” For in this there is no getting.

     The rewards of a twelve year study with another have led me to the next level with whom I would share this awakening. The gifts of inner experience shared are eternal and cannot ever leave the mind that received them. Yet how does one measure their gratefulness FOR such an eternal gift? Would one exact punishment on another, seeking vengeance for the “crime” one thinks was imposed? Let this message today be a constant reminder of the eternal the mind threw away and its response to another for this crime.

     What does one GIVE for an investment of twelve years, if they say, “You wasted twelve years of your life”? One could GIVE nothing, and would have to TAKE as much as one could to “salvage” one’s life. For after twelve years the external search become more desperate, intensified, and the world must become fearful, where only medication and sleeping pills will alleviate this deep distress of darkness. This is not a demonstration of a grateful, immortal spirit.

     It does not matter how many “gifts” one thinks one gave. In the end the question becomes, “How do I feel about myself? What have I learned about myself in contact with another who sought to introduce me to MY Self by MY invitation?

     Indeed, to never discover the immortal spirit I am, after twelve years, and to continue to seek for “love” outside myself would BE a tragedy, and a wasted twelve years of my time in time and space.

 

     Today my Lesson states,

Spirit is immortal, and immortality is a constant state.

It is true now as it ever was or ever will be,

because it implies no change at all.”

     My query brings me to the thoughts that ask, “How does an immortal spirit interact with another immortal spirit?”

     Today it is clear to me the object of my journey is to leave behind a true contribution, and expect nothing in return. For the immortal spirit is whole, and complete, and needs nothing from the world OR others. On the other hand, the other, being immortal spirit, would reflect that which has been received. I perceive another’s actions are a demonstration of receiving nothing. It is a perception another has shared with me. “I wasted twelve years of my life with you and for your actions I will squander that with which you have left me.” .” To perceive one’s own life in this regard would inevitably lead the immortal spirit to find ways to justify its actions.

     The principle the lesson offers is reflected IN relationship. For the world relies on symbols that are communicated by the formlessness of spirit to others, and the immortal spirit and its intentions become reflected in the effects of the world of form.

      The immortal spirit, then, comes TO this level WITH everything, and therefore nothing OF this world can satisfy it. It is a mistake to think that mistakes can be made. And so its gifts TO the world are the gifts to itself.

     Today I walk among immortals spirits, asking myself, “How does an immortal spirit interact with others that are the same?” Certainly there must be an attention and awareness within one that the world does not hear or see, nor can it touch.

     The immortal spirit NEEDS NOTHING from others, and gives only TO another that which increases IN the immortal spirit. In form is this demonstration reflected.

 

     Now……they were sitting by a fireplace, the boy who met the two elders who were feeding the boy. The boy had journeyed a long way and encountered the two elders in his quest to discover the truth. The boy had educated himself by reading the words of the great prophets, and sought to live by them. Yet the boy misinterpreted the words of the prophets and attempted to apply them to his physical world, thereby making his seeking for truth an external activity.

     As he ate the food, the elders asked the boy, “You said you burned all your money. Why did you do that? The boy took a bite from the food he was enjoying and replied, “I do not need money. I am seeking for truth. It is all I need”.

     It never occurred to him he was eating the food the elders shared with him, purchased with their money.

     The insecure “give” to get, and despairs in the perceived loss of what they give.

     The secure give because they have, and despair in the realization they could not give more.

     How DOES one immortal spirit interact with another in a place of time and space that is not their Home?