wilderness path

a significant inner journey


"Yet, I wonder if the homeless person on the street

with few possessions,

no shelter, dirty clothes, dirty body,

and no prospects of improving his lot

cares if he looks foolish to others?"


Amando Natalio





Amando Natalio

From: Amando Natalio

Sent: Sunday, November 10, 2013 11:40 PM

To: desertspirit

Subject: World War Z


     Have you seen it? Last night as I was falling asleep something hit me. As I remember you are a movie fan, so I hope you have seen it because I do not want to ruin it for you. That said, remember when he injects himself with a lethal virus? And then the zombies were unable to see him and he was free of peril? What if the zombies are symbolic of fear thoughts? Anyone who reacts and runs away is attacked and killed. I instantly thought of a treasure trove of gold I wish to get, but it is guarded by a monster that is drawn to fear and feeds off it. The only way to get the gold would be to accept the fear?


     It is like what I wrote about earlier. I cannot dispossess myself of fear. I can only uncover my fear thoughts and allow them to be, surrender to them, which is like injecting myself with that lethal virus. Accepting the worst is a conveyor to Glory? He accepted the worst. It is interesting I am anxious frequently. But in a state of profound trauma, that about which I was formerly anxious elicits no anxiety. It is interesting the heavy weight of trauma has a flip side of freedom. I care very much of others' opinions of me. I am scared of looking foolish in front of others whose opinions are so valuable for some reason.


     Yet, I wonder if the homeless person on the street with few possessions, no shelter, dirty clothes, dirty body, and no prospects of improving his lot cares if he looks foolish to others? Perhaps he is the only one who is free of that thought we in 'civilized' society cling to like a dirty security blanket. I know I do. I am still in awe of the power of my mind that is convinced of the truth of the thoughts of fear in my head which only bring pain, yet I am absolutely helpless to let them go. I cannot do it. I would be FAR easier to give away all my physical stuff I love so much than to denude my encumbered mind of these thoughts I SEE ONLY BRING PAIN!


     It is a mad situation. How does one let go of a thought? Perhaps I will never do it of my own will? Perhaps I cannot. Perhaps I will be made to let them go? Perhaps when I am tired of being used BY them??? The master has become the slave in darkness as far as I can remember. Yet, just a glint of Light has penetrated the deep recesses of my mind, enough to inspire me to even simply raise a question about the ongoing self-crucifixion, "Is it possible I have been mistaken?" I see I wish to be right. This has been a deep lesson everyday for months now. I am scared to death to be wrong. Would I rather see I am mistaken and be a happy dreamer or right and continue to bleed?


     Is it possible I am gravely mistaken I must obey the dictates of my mind? Spirit must be the Great Lifter of the Veil, for I as a personal mind named Amando Natalio who is fully convinced he is separate from ALL else in the world would only fortify the limiting thoughts already anchored in my mind. The limiting thoughts are thorny weeds that have multiplied and dominated the garden of my mind. To walk the path of this garden is fraught with pain because of the thorns. It is dark. There is no color. This is my normal. How long have I been here? I did not realize there was something else. 


     So the Gardener comes in and must up-end the soil and all the wretched ones who have taken root there in order for there to be space for Something Else to grow. Perhaps the garden spoken of the bible is a metaphor for the Mind? Perhaps the apple is a totem for the thought of separation? And as we took the apple we thought we WERE the personal mind. And the ego, knowing only attack, attacks itself. And since we think we are the personal mind we feel the guilt and attack and then project this onto the Infinite thinking it is going to attack us.


     Perhaps the first time I was introduced to 'being wrong' was by 'taking the apple'? Now in my daily life when this act of possibly being wrong is relived in interpersonal interaction I MUST defend myself as being right because the deep seated guilt would be brought to the surface, and I would have to face a God who wishes to punish/attack me. I am truly mad. Perhaps the ego system of thought is nothing but madness? And ANYTHING from it should be rejected as madness? Perhaps that is the ONLY SANE action one can take in this level of existence?


     I feel as if this world of seeming separation from our thoughts is just ONE of the many, many, many rooms in the Universal Castle? It is almost familiar that at some point I made a choice to experience this 'movie' of feeling what it is like to be separate in an illusion, of having my thought come to be in a physical form. I feel it is familiar that at some point I thought it was entertaining, just like a movie, to be experienced and them set aside.


     I had a dream where I walk among many others in large corridors of a movie theater. On each door something was written. On the door I chose, it said, "Jerry Seinfeld". I walked in and sat down. Anyone who entered this theater experienced what it is like to be Jerry. I remember laughing quite a bit and, when I felt I had enough, departed. Perhaps I am currently in the theater labeled, 'Horror Film'. It was entertaining in the beginning, but somewhere I forgot it was a movie. I fell asleep to this fact. And now I think what I see is not of my mind, that I am not creating and starring in my own horror film.





     Hello Amando,


     Yes I did see it. I felt if Brad Pitt was in it that it would be worth watching.


     I was in a grocery store parking lot going back to my truck and an obese woman was there talking very loud to someone else who was also obese, about this movie, and I heard her say, "Oh, yes, we saw it....it was DUMB!!!"


     And it hit me how cut off from anything meaningful man and the ego-thought system is because I had huge insights as to what the meaning was, for me, of this movie, in a spiritual context. And the level of ignorance is profound. You will be lucky to find a single person who will actually be able to understand what you are saying. Yet the irony is that it is NOT IMPORTANT THEY UNDERSTAND YOU. It is important YOU understand you.


     Our sense of insecurity stems from our inability to retain a remembrance of what and who we are, in truth, and adopt this idea that OTHERS must mirror our Certainty. And yet in a distorted way, they do. They are "certain" in their sleep, which is a distorted mirroring of our own certainty in our Selves. We do not NEED another's acceptance, but we learn of our OWN acceptance by extending what is clear to us, and not be concerned about the consequence of how our words affect others, or how we PERCEIVE our words affect others.


     For me, the movie depicts humanity and its current mind set. In fact, if you watch the news, every time there is a shooting or some event that disrupts man's idea of "normalcy", there is pandemonium, there is chaos, and there is panic. At LAX, a gunman shot a TSA officer and people were running, leaving their luggage behind, and trampling over other people, including children. So this is fear's gifts....and the majority of mankind and his consciousness are a prisoner to this level of panic, of fear. And it is going to get a lot worse.


     So what I see is these zombies as man in present consciousness. In fact, the zombies are a good metaphor for Wal-Mart people. They are "infected" and they do not care who they trample over to get whatever it is they are seeking. Look at what they call "black Friday", for God's sake. It is total madness, insanity, and this IS zombie-world.


     Now the sickness is global, and it spreads so fast it CANNOT BE STOPPED OR CONTAINED. In fact, they do not WANT to contain it. They WANT the world population reduced and I anticipate when the media reports often that were there a pandemic, there is not a sufficient amount of vaccines available to treat everyone. Essentially this is a propaganda campaign to condition the collective thinking into the idea that WHEN this pandemic occurs, and it will but it will be human-generated, millions will perish, because currently the global population is increasing at a rate that is not sustainable. There is not enough food or water to take care of everyone. There will have to be a large scale reduction in the population. They should have listened to Dr. Kevorkian. He warned them about this population growth.


     So the zombie thing is just that...a growing pandemic that will not be "cured" until the population is significantly reduced. What is the defense against such an event? Contact with Truth, with the Self, and your relationship with Creator. That is the ONLY thing that will allow any being to "survive" any transformation on this plane. For this plane MUST be restored to Heaven and can be done only by restoring the Heaven within the individual entity.


     The vaccine that Brad Pitt gives himself, the "sickness" that is his defense, is truth.


     Truth cannot be harmed or harm. The parasites only infect and are attracted to "healthy" hosts in a zombie world, but the "healthy" host are those who are susceptible to the disease, to being misled, to being consumed by the externals. It is only those who are willing to be "infected" with a "sickness" who can be "saved", who are not afraid of being vulnerable. And this "sickness" IS the Thought of God, truth, the undoing, atonement, inner correction, recovery, whatever you wish to call it.


     We are not afraid of fear. We are afraid of its undoing. We are afraid of Love, and yet we think we "love" our children or our families while we share a collective sickness of special relationships with them.


     Fear is predictable, and for us what is predictable is "safe," but the absence of fear is not a condition we remember. If we are sick with fear, then collectively we feel our lives are "united". This is manifested in first the "family" and then the "extended family" and then contaminates communities, counties, cities, states, countries, and it grows and grows. We even contaminate the unseen, those who are not in a body, who are earthbound, here to learn. We even poison them with our false love.


     The zombies are a family. Family is "shared sickness" in this world. We have made the idea of "family" something we think is "sacred" WHILE we deny our OWN True Sacredness, and throw away the only True Family, which is to see each other as a spirit, and not as a possession we think we can own or we allow to BE owned. And we SAY we want truth, until we are given the Test to extend our light to a family member. Then we regress and allow the sick family member to re-contaminate us. And we go though this cycle again and again and again until we are sick and tired of it. It is an addiction.


     Family, in the distorted way it mocks Creation, is spirit possession.


     That is, we are possessed by the idea that our small, personal group is special and that we are confined to it, and that no one shall harm it. We would even kill someone if he or she harmed our mother, father, sister, brother, and our wife or husband is a sacred possession we can never share with anyone.


     So for special relationships, there is no Universal Love. Man is asleep. And if I am given the Tools of Awakening, then who enters my realm of perception is that to whom I would extend my light. For that is the ONLY way I can remember it and strengthen it within myself. And these meetings are Arranged BY Creator, by the Inner Teacher. If we feel vulnerable entering these meetings, then we need to stay out of them, or ask for the Wisdom to extend to the other, and do not allow the sickness that leaks out of the other person to soil us.


     In A.A. it is said, "I cannot keep what I have (sobriety) unless I give it away" and in A Course in Miracles it is written, "Giving is proof of having", suggesting that what I HAVE is what I give. In order to strengthen the light within me, I must extend it, asking only for His Words. For it is He Who does the Work through me, and when I am afraid to say true words to those I think are "my" parents or children, then I crucify myself, and the other person, whom He calls "your brother". In this wish to crucify, I demonstrate my fear of the God Light in me.


     So we have much work to do.


     When you are making self-discovery and revealing it, you ARE the Light.


     In this expression, identify with What Is offering you the revelations about yourself, not what you are revealing.


     When revelations are Given, they come from Another Level. Then, release FROM them is Given also. Spirit calls this "the final step". Spirit will pluck this from our minds when we are sufficiently done with it.


     In A.A. they say, "The addiction has been 'removed'."