wilderness path

a significant inner journey


"I am loving you today from my world,

and will draw you into it and we will share our worlds

as they will be mingled together and unified,

but you will still retain your individuality."


Desert Spirit





APRIL 22, 2014
Desert Spirit
     Today my Lesson reads,
"A miracle is a service.
It is the maximal service you can render to another.
 It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself.
You recognize your own and your neighbor's worth simultaneously."
     The impact of this principle cannot be described as the word SERVICE hits me this morning. As I look back in hindsight, the first experience I can consider was introduced to me in A.A., in extending my recovery to others, but also giving time and energy to the room, to service in the room, service to A.A., time and energy given freely. In those days my recover HAD to be FIRST. There WAS nothing more important to me than staying without drink, attending meetings, and getting to know myself. Interestingly, to know oneself does not come from close examination, although it plays an important role. Rather it comes FROM SERVICE TO OTHERS, in a self-less way. For we can offer service to others and be very self-centered in doing so, unconsciously demanding they "reward" us with the "wonderful service" we "provide" to them. Yet true service is selfless, as a bee offers its service of pollinating the flowers. In this regard, we see that SERVICE will affect the whole. This service comes FROM Wholeness.
     One cannot offer a service that expects a return. The service must be selfless. In other words, one does not seek for a reward. Yet it is also inherently recognized that the service IS ESSENTIAL in that it IS the life force that keeps one alive. Without service to others, we will die a very self-centered life, looking all the time for OTHERS to SERVE US what we demand or think we need. Service is not a sacrifice, for if one is whole then to serve or to extend oneself TAKES NOTHING AWAY FROM THE HE WHO OFFERS THE SERVICE.
     In offering a service, what is given INCREASES IN THE GIVER, and offers strength to the receiver. As I extend my recovery, my need to know my Self, I become aware OF my true Worth, my wholeness, my unified spirit and its relationship to the Creator. IT NEEDS NOTHING. And it discovers what it HAS or IS BY EXTENDING IT.
     Now I was pondering the strong words I offered to David Jr and in light of this principle today I see that I cannot sink down into his depression or self-centeredness, where he feels sorry for himself and needs someone to "do" for him what he thinks he cannot do for himself. "I need a job" is the only thing he knows, and yet he does not see, even when glaringly pointed out to him Spirit CAN PROVIDE A SERVICE TO HIM TO EXTEND, he ignores ever request to do so. So he suffers from "unworthiness" which is only a definition about himself that HE HAS MANUFACTURED, and with this unworthiness in him, he feels he can offer something to others. In fact, when he gets a job, he proceeds to explain to everyone how great he is, how he can do the job better than anyone else, and in a many ways is very arrogant. Then, unworthiness must be arrogance.
     A.A. was an extremely powerful experience and example for me of service to others. "I cannot keep what I have unless I give it away, and what I give away is proof OF what I have". This can refer to healing, to recovery, as well as to self-deception.
    I offer strong words to David Jr. to shock him and pull him up out of his cesspool of quicksand in which he is sinking and if he does not grab the rope he will sink below the ground and drown in his own self-made despair. But I cannot join him in his misery. For MY OWN WORTH is expressed to him in the importance of making inner corrections, regardless how he does that, be it with a therapist, with me, or with others who might push him to start contributing rather than taking from the world. One cannot sit around waiting for "a job" while thinking of oneself in such small terms. For then the question is, "What am I going to give to others I this service if I am starting out feeling worthless?"
     EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANE has a service to perform, just as in nature everything has a service to perform that keeps nature in harmony and balance. Look at man's consciousness with regard to nature and this will shock you to see that man is not interested in waking up. How can man wake up when he destroys his OWN WORLD that nature is constantly attempting to bring back to balance and harmony? And so I cannot be part of a collective consciousness that is so self-centered, self-destructive and worthless. I have to step out of the river of meaninglessness and attend to the reparation of my own insanity.
     I am loving you today from my world, and will draw you into it and we will share our worlds as they will be mingled together and unified, but you will still retain your individuality. For what I offer does not take FROM me, and what you offer does not take from you, but increases in the giver and receiver. If I look for reward or accolades, then the giving is motivated by self-deception. There is a way to extend oneself and not be CONCERNED WITH ONESELF or what one thinks one will receive. For it occurs to one that WHAT ONE GIVES IS WHAT ONE IS RECEIVING and one does not care about the consequences of this giving. For this giving is Guided by Higher Forces.
     The purpose of this journey is to bring all things to wholeness, staring with myself. In this way I have to forget ABOUT OTHERS and concentrate on what must changed in me. Yet in doing so a Worth begins to dawn, and extended from oneself, draws TO oneself those who will to share such a journey. By joining, we heal this part of mankind's consciousness, including our own, that was fragmented by a perceived separation of Love.
     Ask what will be the Service you will extend to others, selflessly, and stop looking for others to give to you what you cannot give to yourself or have available TO yourself.