wilderness path

a significant inner journey


"To the degree my struggles seem great,

to that degree must the solution be also.

And so a great remedy is in store for those who have suffered greatly

the trials and tribulations of their journey."

Desert Spirit


Desert Spirit
     In the same day I receive the ENTERPRISE call, Frank stops by and pays me more than I expected to receive for the job.

     The timing of events is important in that it signifies what we do on a daily basis will have effects. Or I should say how we think on a daily basis about our contact with Spirit and our own inner journey will bring to us our lessons in a physical environment.

     For me, the struggles that each person are essential to practice the truth of the lesson. It is difficult to not side with temptations, fear, worry, ideas of loss, threat, lack, despair, delay and so on when one is in the lesson, but I have to continue to look at my life lessons Spirit arranges as synonymous to my journey out of alcoholism and into recovery.

     In the initial states of recovery, for example, there is a great deal of temptation. The mind is used to moving in one direction and thinking one way. The difficulty seems to come when we are places in situations that tend to press us to move away from those same actions and try something new. The new direction makes us feel uncertain, and so it becomes a wilderness journey. Yet like any new place to discover, it does not have to be fearful but can be inspiring. The problem with the new is that we tend to identify more heavily with what we know, rather than what we need to learn anew. We cling to the old, thinking there is no other way to live. So recovery at first appears to be a curse. Once we gain some momentum, however, in the new, then it becomes less and less difficult. And so we have layers we go through in recovery that presses us to move higher and higher up and out of the old.

     So my lessons seem to have been for a long time struggling to meet the daily duties. Most of my problem, I now see, is attempting to satisfy MY OWN NEEDS FIRST and others' needs second. So a redirection of my needs and others' needs was in order, and as I put aside my small life and attempt to meet others needs first things begin to change. This is a principle A.A. heavily relies on -

     "I cannot keep what I have unless I give it away," is a principle of extending ones' experience, strength and hope to another who suffers, and this allows us to think less of ourselves and more about the other person. However, this can be misused, and when others become more important than myself then I am practicing what is called 'co-dependency' where I derive MY WORTH from serving the needs of others first, and not meet my own. I then will eventually grow resentful ABOUT serving others needs first and eventually try to blame THEM for my discomfort.

     Now today my lesson begins to gain momentum, as it is titled WHAT IS THE RESURRECTION? And as the I-CHING brought to my attention the lesson of FNG - ABUNDANCE (FULLNESS) it spoke of a tremendous power present and how it was essential for me to cling to the fact that the presence of this abundant power signifies a time of transformation.

     To the degree my struggles seem great, to that degree must the solution be also. And so a great remedy is in store for those who have suffered greatly the trials and tribulations of their journey.

     So I am aware of this increase in power and it begins to manifest in various ways. For days the clouds hung over my world, where rain clouds disallowed the sunrays to penetrate. Now after days and days the sun has broken through, and the mornings now are full of sunshine. So there has been a change even in the externals, not only in my awareness of the externals.

     So my lesson has recently read,

Thoughts turn to Heaven and away from hell. All longings are satisfied, for what remains unanswered or incomplete?"

     So this prompts me to see that Spirit working with my mind has made this turn, this shift, this correction. But it is not without my participation that this shift is possible. I must do my part. I must not side with the illusion of despair, loss and wastefulness that is my desire to give power to sadness and worry over my mind and me.

     Yesterday morning I studied the continuation of this theme of RESURRECTION which by the way also means REBIRTH and RENEWAL. The sentence reads,

Nothing is left to contradict the Word of God. There is no opposition to the truth."

So if this is a truth I must live, then I must be in Order and despite what my mind attempts to show me or say to me, despite the perceived closed doors I encounter, day after day in my quest to provide my services to others, this truth must be so. There is no opposition to truth - if I think there is then it is my disorder that I impose on the world and attempt to find order within it. But the Order is there, and the disorder is only my perception OF the Order.

     So last night the call comes and it is from ENTERPRISE. And I immediately thing ENTER PRIZE. A prize has entered, a gift has entered, a surprise has entered. As I am speaking with the woman who is bubbly with joy, I am told "You were the only applicant" and this to me really isolates the issue, where Spirit shows there is no opposition, no opponent to whom I will be compared. I am not suggesting I will work for these beings, but I am saying there is an awareness of the absence of opposition to which I look.

     Last night, after speaking with her, Frank comes by after his long vacation and boasts of the outstanding job I did on his fence. And so the evening is full of reward.

     As I prepared for bed last night, I studied this term ENTERPRISE. The organization can be seen, in the world's terms, as an auto rental agency. Or in the Spirit World is something else, a place from which Spirit sends out Its call to me asking I participate in a service It has arranged for me

enterprise - the first thing I consider, before the formal definitions is  - enter + prize, or the entering of a prize, the entering of a surprise. And I ask, "What is the prize, the surprise that enters my mind and my world? Is it successful outcome, positive outcome as prophesized by the I-CHING and A Course in Miracles? Is it unlimited release, abundance, prosperity, success, and the end of turmoil?"

enterprise - (L, inter - in  + prehendere - take) to take in; to receive within; to accept within; to claim within; intake; an undertaking, especially a big, bold or difficult one; energy and initiative

initiative - (initiate, initial) - the action of taking the first step or move; ability in originating new ideas and methods; the introduction of proposed legislation as to popular vote, by voters' petitions.

initiate - to bring into practice or use; to teach the fundamentals of a subject to; to admit as a member into a fraternity, club, etc., especially with a special or secret ceremony

initial - (L, in - into  + ire, - go) - go into; go in; go within; first, or at the beginning

     So the entering of this surprise in which Spirit provides an invitation to me to look at the effects of my world as a new beginning signifies that I have received within me the first steps to a new beginning, out of the dark past of uncertainty and into a new world, what Spirit calls 'the happy dream.' There must be some kind of beneficence that one experiences in the endurance of those trying lessons. For if this were not to occur then the mind would be condemned to darkness forever, and changes in thoughts and therefore in one's world could never occur. But the externals REVEAL what the Mind has administered to the mind of the aspirant. The mind reveals what it is experiencing inside, as external circumstances. So we must see in trying times that Spirit IS in charge and is moving us always to the next level of truth.

     So after studying these definitions and writing extensively about these discoveries, I prepared to sleep, and before doing so I studied the next sentence that stated,

And now the truth can come as last

How could one not be inspired by such a Thought? Finally, the dawning on the mind of what is already in it returns. And what is truth? The fact that spirit is in a state of grace forever, that I am only spirit, that I am in a state of grace forever, that every lesson in the journey at the physical level is a working out of one's karma, to a great liberation for the spirit.

     It is then essential to stay in the day and not attempt to long for a tomorrow, for as A.A. teaches we have one day to stay sober and practice the principles of recovery in all our affairs. How often we fall by the wayside to put away the study for the perceived importance of the external circumstances that command all our attention. And in doing so we sporadically 'pray to God' for the answer to our difficulties. Rather, it is essential to develop a constant relationship with Spirit in Its desire to weed out the unessentials of our thinking, the pettiness that is not important to which we have given a great deal OF importance.

     So the lesson is for everyone - if I receive it into my mind. For if all minds are joined, then what I receive and perceive affects other minds. And so my lessons with others regarding debts and so forth are affected by my renewal. And gradually the externals begin to reveal these changes. Gradually the effects are seen. As Spirit suggests, it is not the test that is as important as our reaction to the test.

     Now this morning I study the next sentence that offers me,

How quickly will it (truth) come as it is asked to enter and envelop such a world!

     This sentence is given with an exclamation point on the end, signifying the intensity of the Speaker's interest in delivering this lesson. So this must impact me also. I must be affected by His enthusiasm. As the I-Ching revealed, there is an abundance of power present, an intensity of energy. And so the entry of the enterprise lesson reveals in its lesson, this enterprise is full of energy and initiative.

     Now what commands my attention is this statement of being enveloped by truth. So I look to this word ENVELOP.

envelop - (OFr, see EN +  DEVELOP) - covering; what envelops

en - in + develop - (OFr, des - apart + voloper - to wrap) - to wrap apart within; to make fuller, bigger, better; to show or work out by degrees; to put film into a chemical to make pictures visible; to occur; to come into being

     So these definitions are full of energy, power and inspiration.

    Within me I am 'wrapped' in truth. I have been wrapped in despair, fear, worry as the lessons pressed me to think one way and ego pressed me to think another. Now the wrapper that bound me is removed and replaced with the Arms that wrap me and protect me and assist me in realizing I am safe. Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists. I cannot suffer, will not be in pain, will not suffer loss nor fail to do all salvation asks.

     I cannot fail to do all that salvation asks because Spirit's Plan is flawless, and if I could fail in my lesson then that would mean He is a very poor teacher who is capable of making mistakes. But Spirit is not, however, and yet I CAN MISPERCEIVE the lesson and think I have failed the lesson.

     So it says, "
How quickly will it (truth) come as it is asked to enter and envelop such a world!

     So I will it, I wish it, I claim it. It is present. It is my job TO claim it, to thank Spirit FOR the gift. I am, it says, enveloped by truth. It wraps me up in its protection, I cannot be harmed, in spirit I am forever protected. I am released from the despairing lessons of struggle. Time is needed to catch up to what my mind has been given, just like time is needed when film is placed into a chemical to develop the picture.

     The film is thought. The chemical is manifestation. The result is the picture, or the effects I see as the world I now experience. This sharing of this lesson signifies my confidence in receiving, accepting and extending the gift.

It says I am wrapped in truth, the truth being the fact my spirit is safe, and will use the body to demonstrate this in a physical realm to those who journey with me. It says truth makes, bigger, better and fuller my life. It says this is worked out in degrees, as time is needed to catch up to the mind that is transformed. It says this HAS occurred. It says this comes into being now.

     The coming into being of the truth of my lesson begins ALWAYS with recognition OF the the lesson. This is why it is essential to share, or extend our experience, strength and hope, in whatever form we are given it TO extend, be it in a lesson written as an email, or in a conversation with another, or in a task I perform with another or for another.

     So now you have been made aware that someone is transformed today and that you have been blessed with the experience of another, thereby receiving the affects of the power and energy of the lesson into your mind and