wilderness path

a significant inner journey

"Consider, then, to what level will Dante’s Guides escort you
as you enter the Other Side?"
Desert Spirit




Sunday, June 16, 2013


Desert Spirit




The world wishes to celebrate ‘Father’s Day” today, and who will see that there is only One Father, and to worship any other father is a mockery to Him, and a worshipping of a false idol?


     And yet, to honor Him Who is my Creator, what is His Gift to me today in my remembrance of Him AS my Father? For today I begin a new Lesson. Yet what precedes It is my Tarot reading this day.


Today my day begins with a desire to receive the Tarot reading.


In the position of the reading of a five-card draw, the first card represents PRESENT POSITION:









As the reading suggests, the number six represents equilibrium, harmony and balance. The six-pointed star is formed out of two triangles, one pointing up towards spirit or heavens, and the other pointing down towards the body or earth, symbolizing balance between them.


The symbol of the Cups suggests it represents the element Water which is associated with feelings and emotions. Water represents the feelings and emotions which are constantly shifting expression. In the suit of Cups, the Water element seems to refer mainly to love and relationships, happy or otherwise.


The Six of Cups shows a young boy giving to a young girl a cup of flowers. Obviously it is a card that speaks of harmony in relationships, however, as the images are of children, it suggests that these are childhood relationships or those with roots.


The reading states,



A boy is offering a little girl a cup filled with flowers. Nearby stand five more flower-filled cups, and behind the pair, a thatched cottage and quaint old village green conveys thoughts of home and childhood memories. The Six of Cups can bring a meeting with an old friend or childhood acquaintance; an old lover may reappear or a love affair with roots in the past may be revived. This card can also mean that something with roots in the pat may be reconsidered, and that past efforts may bring present or future rewards. If badly placed, the Six of Cups could mean that the seeker lives too much in the past, or is too nostalgic and does not pay enough attention to present or future potentials.”



In any lesson I receive, it is the disturbance to which I pay close attention, and although overall the complete 5-card reading was very productive and with good insights and good news, the underlying disturbance in me surfaced as I read the last part of the above reading which states, “…the Six of Cups could mean that the seeker lives too much in the past, or is too nostalgic and does not pay enough attention to present or future potentials.”


So it is this to which I give my attention, as two thoughts rise in me as I read about the PRESENT POSITION card. The first is that it is about a past, a childhood past, or even an ancient past and the second is the theme of home, as well as the issue of relationships. So in this stimulation of disturbing energy I go to uncover whatever it is Spirit is ready to reveal to me today.

Cups represent thoughts and feelings. Now the thoughts and feelings that arise in this Tarot reading that disturb me are those that speak of dwelling too much in the past, and yet ironically it is a paradox; the ego certainly would not want me to go there, but also I would HAVE to go there to uncover the disturbance.


I consider these could be related to a past with family, parents and siblings, but also a past regarding Lecanto house. Lecanto house, which is my mother’s house whose name is Lorraine, has always been an issue with me from the time I was introduced to it when I lived in Tampa. It was a time that she was having difficulties with it and asked me if I would be interested in purchasing it because she was too heavily in debt with it. At the time I did not think I could purchase it, although I never investigated it. So I contacted a friend and she alleviated Lorraine from the place by purchasing it. We then shared the dwelling, the friend and myself.


If I dwell too much in the past as the card suggests, then could I not see potential and opportunity in the present? Yet the Lecanto house is not so much about my childhood past as much as Lorraine is. And this connection sparks something I have never thought about before -- the relationship of me to Lorraine (childhood parent) and the Lecanto house, which was never given to me but given to someone else who had the resources to purchase it but who eventually had no use for it, no need for it or no desire for it.


What is this about, Teacher? If I must dwell not so much on the past regarding my perceived loss of this dwelling, how do I release this? And what has this to do with Lorraine? For there are two thoughts here -- one is that a past I cannot release or do not release is related to Lecanto house, and the second is a past I cannot release or do not release related to Lorraine as I continue to introduce MY childhood past WITH her TO her.


The card reveals children, a male child giving a female child a cup of flowers.


Teacher, how is my childhood past and present relationship with Lorraine and Lecanto house connected? If the card suggests I dwell too much in the past to recognize present potentials, then how are they connected? How do I move forward?


I hold on to a past regarding Lorraine and my youth as her child and all the turbulence that was part of that upbringing, and she was connected TO the Lecanto house, asking me to help her resolve her issues with the house. Perhaps my past with her was/is unhealed as I continue to reveal the “secrets” she refuses to address within herself.


Then if Lecanto house is connected to my childhood past, which I have not healed or let go, then it would never BE FREE OF me. I hold her responsible for my childhood past. She in turn refuses to deal with it, but asks me to assist her with Lecanto house. Yet I was not, or thought I was not in a position to assist, and introduced someone else to step in and assist. All the while I thought this Lecanto house could be or would be my home.


Now what never WAS mine has been “taken away”. Lecanto house was removed from my life and world, yet remains in my mind, just as Lorraine remains in it. The troubles related to Lecanto house as they relate to Lorraine have been removed from my mind and world. And so if I am done WITH this past with Lorraine, and let it go NOW, TODAY, I am not longer connected TO Lorraine, as a past, which suggests the Lecanto house she sold to another is no longer held in me also.


My refusal to assist her manifested as my never being given Lecanto house to purchase? If I refused to assist her with Lecanto house, it is because I would punish her for my past. WHAT? If my past with her can end, today, I can no longer be separated from Lecanto house? How far back into a past does this relationship go?


If I am healed of a past with Lorraine, is it possible I would be inviting the Lecanto house back into my life? Lorraine and the Lecanto house are connected. To exile her from my world is to exile the Lecanto house from my world, all the while I think I have been exiled FROM Lecanto house. But is it I who exile myself from them?


In a time when she asked for me to help her, I could not, or thought I could not. In fact, I REFUSED to help her because of an unhealed past and could not possess what was seen by me as part of the toxic energy of her past. But I would be free of her today and free of my past with her, making the way for the Lecanto house to be made available to me?


I feel Lecanto house, Lorraine, childhood past are related. If I cannot release bitter past or childhood and Lorraine, I could never be invited to enter Lecanto house. For I rejected it to punish her, a reprisal for her punishment of me in my youth.


Now to not punish her would be to welcome this dwelling into my present? And is this of what the PRESENT POSITION card speaks?


The card shows a child boy and child girl, but no indication of the relationship -- they could be brother and sister, or friends. If I am the child boy and she is the child girl to whom I in this present position give flowers, would this be a different ending TO a past? How far past do I go WITH this entity whose name Lorraine is a symbol of my parent/mother in this lifetime? I have not even considered if this relationship goes back further, or what it could have been IN a past lifetime.


My past is only remembered as she being my mother and I being her son. Yet is there ANOTHER relationship that is unhealed, that goes back even further? Was this being from my past a friend? Were we children, childhood friends? Was she a sister? Was she a lover? It says, “The Six of Cups can bring a meeting with an old friend or childhood acquaintance; an old lover may reappear or a love affair with roots in the past may be revived.” Is this Love with roots?


Were we past lovers in a past life? And would she wish to posses me for herself in THIS life? How could she possess me, except making me, in this lifetime, “her child”? Now you are bringing up memories in my very early youth in this lifetime. Now I recall her words to me when I was a very young boy, words she spoke to me, saying, “You were always and will always be my favorite child”. I hated to hear this. I never wanted to be her favorite. But here it could be possible -- she wished to possess me AS her child. For how long has THIS memory been blocked? And I would grow to adulthood to reveal our past, our bitter past, as a child to her, as a result of our being lovers?


Now she offered me her home. I said I could not purchase it, but rather refused to own it, refused to help her, punish her. It is a conflicted past we share, a past much further back than this lifetime. Yet if I offer this entity love now, so must our past BE healed. And in this I would no longer refuse what she once reserved to give to me – this Lecanto house


This is something very deep, Teacher. Perhaps I am making it all up? From where does all this come, Teacher? I only sought to receive a Tarot reading today. Yet is the ancient power in these Cards without limit or dimension?


What I DO feel, however, is my childhood relationship to Lorraine in this lifetime is somehow connected to the Lecanto house, and my perceived “inability” to help her with it in the past was my refusal to release HER from her past and from MY past, and how I punished her for it.



Today I offer her a cup filled with flowers.






     If, then, I will to release her from my past, and release the Lecanto house from its past, it could perhaps clear the way for the past to be healed, mine to her and mine to the Lecanto house, inviting them both back into my world, my mind and my life.



Is it so, Teacher?


Now my new Lesson is Lesson 305.


3 + 0 + 5 = 8


8 = regeneration and balance of opposing forces, and the ending and death of the old, evil and wrong that makes way of the new, pure and just.


Now my Lesson reads,



Lesson 305



“There is a peace that Christ bestows upon us.”





And this is Your peace, as in, “My peace is not of this world”.



So be it.

“It is done.”




     Now it is clear to me what the Commandments teach. For They are not a lesson in behavior or discipline. Nor can they be understood by bodies. They, in fact, are Spiritual Laws. They are Revelations of Truths.


And so it must be true, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” is “You CANNOT COMMIT adultery” because the neighbor you sleep with is your husband/wife of a past life. And if you truly understood your true relationship with another, it would never BE special and you would preserve its holiness.


And your children are not your children.


Consider, then, to what level will Dante’s Guides escort you as you enter the Other Side?