wilderness path

a significant inner journey


"Doubt is a double-edged sword.

Use it wisely and you will never cut off your own arm."


Desert Spirit





Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Desert Spirit





     Good morning. A little question….Lesson 52, part 5…”My thoughts do not mean anything.” Does this refer to my thoughts that I extend to others like they seem being received from Spirit? Don’t they mean anything also? Do the thoughts I think come from Spirit not mean anything?


     I am thinking my actions paying those balances produced conflict in my life, but also conflict with PayPal and conflict with the bank, and yet the bank and PayPal have had to do something different, beyond their conventional reactions to bring the situation back to “normal”. And so the “mistake” I think I made actually pressed others, AS WELL AS MYSELF, to be more reasonable, to be more human. And those I asked for assistance had the same opportunity, but chose to fall back to their conventional ways of thinking and behaving, opting to “play it safe” and not get involved.


     So these two institutions have had to deal with the “problem” in another way. This is this same thing you did with M and with T. You introduced something to them that showed the unconventional that stirred them, and would, for M, have him look at himself in a different way.


     So then my thoughts are not meaningless sometimes?


     Your thoughts about your meaningless thoughts are meaningless.


     Thoughts regarding your past, your failures, your insecurities, what we think we should have done, our past fears, past guilt, all the things that you regret….your ideas of family, your shame, your ideas of A, your ideas of P and how you think you failed them. ALL THESE do not mean anything except to ego. ALL THESE do not mean anything. Your doubts about yourself, the way you see yourself…all meaningless. The only thing that is true is that you are spirit, you are a pure entity, you live in the Mind of God and everything you do is according to an Unconventional Plan that, although we may not understand, is still part OF It.


     Thoughts that cause you conflict, discomfort, fear, agony, misery do not mean anything because Spirit sees them all as untrue. It is what WE give power to that undermines our spirit. But Spirit sees ONLY we are in a state of grace forever. There is no mama, no M, no P, no A, no personal you. There is only life, Spirit of God and the expression OF that life through the medium we call “the body”.


     The particular group of Lessons that you are studying deals with past ideas that we have not let go of; they continue to revisit us. We keep visiting the graveyard and the grave, and grieve. But we have not grieved the loss of the ego and the past, and when we do, we will not visit the grave and bring flowers to it any longer.


     You are not weak, you are not frail, and you are not delirious just because someone else says so. You do not have to accept the opinions others hold against you. Others do not define you. Only Creator defines you.  Every single thing begins from the idea of what you think you are and every lesson begins with the idea of what you think you are, and so you can look at the lesson as a body and an ego or you can look at the lesson as a spirit that has forgotten these things.


     I see nothing as it is now and the NOTHING is what I am seeing. It is nothing, it means nothing, but I have MADE the nothing SOMETHING. Have you ever, ever seen a “nothing”? You have seen a cup. But have you ever seen a “nothing”? Because when you see your past this is what a “nothing” looks like.


     Spirit explains to us that when we are moving in the world we are simply playing a part on a stage… we are watching a movie in which we are starring. It is a virtual reality. Do not be so harsh with the character in this play, either yours or theirs, that we are playing and do not be so convinced your character is more real than you are acting it out as a spirit in a body.


     My thoughts do not mean ANYTHING because my thoughts mean SOMETHING. And according to God my thoughts play a part in every lesson in which I find myself…in which I FIND MYSELF…I FIND MYSELF or my Self IN every lesson. Where else will you think you will find your Self?


     So my thoughts are not random. They are part of the Script I agree to play just as others have agreed to their parts. You do not have to LIKE the part they play but you can respect if you see it is what THEY elected to play. It is important to THEM to play that part and you are entitled to and should expect respect FROM THEM for the part you play. Respect the part you play. Respect the part they play, even if they do not respect the part you play or respect the part they play for themselves.


     You do not agree to play a part in a movie and then when they start filming the movie, you decide to change the lines, like Elise did for Richard in the movie, SOMEWHERE IN TIME, but rather you stick to the lines you were given to recite so as not to upset everyone. Yet sometimes you will feel a need to improvise, and break out of the script.


     You are not mechanical mind. You do not read books to accumulate information to pontificate that you think will give you meaning in your life and make you look intelligent. You are not a robot. You are spirit. You are creative energy/mind and therefore everything you express IS an improvising, creative moment of expression of your spirit. Respect this in yourself. Do not condemn your beautiful spirit or the body it has designed as the medium it chose to use at this level. Do not condemn your spirit for what it wants to do here if you do not want to participate with it, but let it do what it wants and just go along for the ride.


     Life is the river. You are in the canoe on the river. You are even the canoe. Let it carry you with the current, even if it bumps a few rocks along the way. Even let it take you over the falls if it wishes to do so. You are always Safe.


     Those who have not yet discovered they are spirit with a creative mind have to be mechanical so they can function in a mechanical artificial world. Those who are mechanical need to be governed so let them be governed by the laws that govern them. But you are not mechanical. That is why, often, there are times you feel you do not “fit in” to the external world. You are creative spirit and so you are governed by another Set of Laws. They are creative spirit also, but have not yet decided to express that or discovered that and so they must be mechanical in order to survive.


     Let them be mechanical, but you be creative expression and do not doubt yourself. God is with you, and spirit is unalterable. If you doubt yourself, then it is your desire to press to further understand your Self, so even doubt can be a “good” thing. You cannot change your spirit but you CAN change how you see and feel ABOUT your spirit.


     Who in your physical life has ever told you these things? Not a single person and that is why you doubt, because it is new to you and we prefer the predictability, the old, to the new. But there is no life IN the old. It is worn out.


     M is caught in circular reasoning, and his mind just goes around and around and around, like a dog chasing his tail. You interrupted that and engaged him and gave him an exit, and this is upsetting to him because you have upset and disturbed his slumber, and upset his tail-chasing days, and he tried to bite you. He cannot chase his tail anymore because now he sees another way out, but he is too afraid to take that step.


     But you have opened the door for him, so let it be this.


     Your words to M are a demonstration that you have placed your own mind at the disposal of a true Authority. And he thinks this is insane because he has elected to allow a tyrant to rule his mind and fight against this true Authority that speaks through you, every step of the way.


     This that I now will say is a bit strong but it is ok…it is this: you might consider that M follows the guidance of the one Fallen Angel.


     This is why the psychic told that Death or the Dark Angel follows him, or is always present with him, behind him, whispering to him, guiding him. It is why he feels such an aversion to Rose of the World.


     Spirit placed M’s salvation very close to him…his family member, YOU, which is the LAST PLACE he will ever look for it, the LAST PLACE he will ever look for it…..wow.


     Here is what I study today:



     “Whatever is true is eternal, and cannot change or be changed. Spirit is therefore unalterable because it is already perfect, but the mind can elect what it chooses to serve. The only limit put on its choice is that it cannot serve two masters. If it elects to do so, the mind can become the medium by which spirit creates along the line of its own creation. If it does not freely elect to do so, it retains its creative potential but places itself under tyrannous, rather than Authoritative control. As a result it imprisons, because such are the dictates of tyrants. To change your mind means to place it at the disposal of true Authority.”


     Your thoughts mean a lot to me and all I have to do is recognize when I roll down to pitiful, shallow, fearful, doubtful thoughts of myself, when I do that, I cannot see. When I catch myself thinking of myself as failing, screwing up, ruining, I am in doubts.


     By some reason I woke up today with a clear mind. There was no more wrenching, painful feeling that I did something wrong. Thank God, at least for a short while I can rest from these feelings and thoughts saying I may have done something wrong. Why should I base my thinking on someone else’s approval or disapproval? Only because I have been doing this all my life? ENOUGH! The time has come when past routines go broken.


     As it is Written, you are guided by only one true Authority, and although M is a part OF that Authority also, he is not guided by that. Or we can say he IS but is unaware of it. The false authority of the world has a strong influence on the spirit as its energies are very harsh, coarse and heavy, like wearing a thick hot coat all the time.


     The false authority of the world and the ego within all men in your life have PRESSED, DRIVEN you to seek the only one true Authority Who guides you. And for THIS ALONE can you be grateful to them and “forgive” them, which means TODAY AND FOREVER MORE you can let them go to follow their chosen, respective paths, just as you have come to follow yours.


     As I study in the text the message of the one true Authority and the fact that a mind cannot serve two masters, I asked the Teacher this question this morning:


     “I respectfully ask…who is the master of this house I serve? For doubt has replaced certainty I thought I once had and could see clearly within it. For once You said to me, ‘Why do you not allow ME to teach you, David?’ ”


     And the answer I receive is this:


     And I wish to reaffirm this was NOT a voice of a dark influence but rather the Light Who came to assist you.”



     You can let others follow their chosen path even if you perceive it is not in their best interest, in your perception, and you can be at peace with those who walk their path. And I feel this is what is meant by true compassion for oneself and for others.


     What is true is true. And one cannot change it. Some time ago I told you I had an insight M is an “anti-Christ”. Weird. How could that be? But it is what it is…lost, confused, obscure, devoted to dark forces and anti-love forces.


     They feed off the energy of others, taking from them rather than giving to them, stealing the energy that makes them weak. This is why depression is so powerful. It is a dark entity directly sucking the life out of the spirit through a damaged aura. This is why it is important to protect oneself, surround oneself with the light and keep moving, keep moving, eat, care for yourself, and keep moving no matter what.


     I trust you. You can see better than I do. Why do I doubt my thoughts? Why do I always first go to myself?


     Actually, that is what seekers do. So it is a good thing. You are very loyal to your doubt and so this proves that you DO have loyalty. The first step to Self discovery is, ironically, doubt, because it opens you to question the things you DO doubt. Just do not be so “certain” about what you doubt. At this level, everything is subject to change. Be comfortable WITH change, and transformation will never be painful.


     Loyalty is devotion. It is not good to be devoted to doubt.


     Well, it can be good if you use it to doubt that M has something to offer you that is sane. Doubt is a double edged sword. Use it wisely and you will never cut off your own arm.