CONDITIONAL SERVICE TO GOD
Monday, September 24, 2018
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2018 10:55 AM
From: amando natalio
To: Desert Spirit
I wonder if this is necessary insofar as perhaps you already know the contents of this message and that it was coming. You do not have to reply but I know you will do as you are Asked.
I was a drunk who thought I could drive. I am sorry for my ignorant words to you and Anya. Please show her this. Please accept this extension. I had no idea how disrespectful I have been toward the Teacher and now I see you and others. no idea.
I see you are the elder brother who is more experienced, one step ahead as Ms Tweedie says. So I clean our relationship out of respect for you who has pointed out the inner. I clean our relationship out of respect to the Teacher and the inner work. After all this time I still doubted my relationship to the Teacher was real!
I will share the following. I threatened to kick your head. A week later I unwittingly slammed my foot in to the wall. Broken digit and torn ligaments. It is my karma 3x over. I am a slow learner. I am grateful for the mercy of only those injuries. I am grateful it did not have to be worse.
Your power has increased it seems. I can go now in peace. I wish you and Anya well.
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2018 11:22:21 PM
From: Desert Spirit
To: amando natalio
ok, thank you, Amando. We wish only peace for you also.
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2018 6:52 AM
From: amando natalio
To: Desert Spirit
Subject: Re: REPLY
"We wish only peace for you also."
Is this true? Is the peace you wish for me your impetus for complaining to Cox? Was 'peace' the reason you called my work 3 times? Was 'peace' the reason you offered your many vulgarities? And still you have yet to make amends to me after all this time.
Perhaps you are full of vengeance and retribution? perhaps the vengeance you perceived in AnneMarie was YOURS all along? Did you wish only peace for her?
Even if my words are true, do you not desire peace for yourself? Based on your message, Amando, how is that working for you?
Why would Amando wait FOUR MONTHS for an “amend” he feels he deserves? Was an offer of peace not sufficient?
From: amando natalio
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2018 11:01 AM
To: Desert Spirit
Subject: Re: REPLY REPLY
You did not respect the message and answer the questions posed. Liberation through avoidance? How is THAT working for you, David? Even if your words were false, you cannot even presently respect another enough to answer a question. So you forfeit your right to complain when answers to your questions remain unanswered.
What part of you in me still sees a need to undo an unhealed past with AnneMarie? Why do you think you are receiving messages again? I won't hold my breath for an amends.
Are you still living with your parents, Amando? When you have moved out, find a woman, have a relationship with her, and learn about loving others, then you can write to me to speak about respect and about relationships. Good bye, friend.
Over a decade of exchanging emails with these two beings, it has revealed clearly a pattern with Amando to “make amends” or “help others” and then expect this to be reciprocated. This false expectancy stems from his years of “praying to God” for a “function and an answer” stating many times that when he “gave himself in service to others”, when he gave his possessions or this time, he was “screwed”.
It is a common sickness to think that “God” is supposed to “reward” the individual for “services”, and when this is not accomplished, in an estimation of how things SHOULD be, claim “There IS no God” and become again hostile toward Creator, and towards others. It is this unconscious idea of conditional service to God and false giving that leads never to peace from which both of these beings suffer.
I find Amando’s infatuation with Anne Marie interesting. For they have found a common thread. Both came to say, “Oh, YOU have what I want”, and when what they wanted was not delivered, they ran away again hurt, depressed, angry, full of vengeance, “punishing” the object of their perceived hurt.
Yet who but themselves have they hurt? Who but themselves continue to lash out, avoid and pretend?
It is the same sickness from which Anne Marie suffers, engaging in a “relationship” until she discovered that she did not “get” what she expected and then responding by stating “This is my house…get out…you have to leave”, thinking anything in her life that was Given to her is hers to do with as she pleases, as most do.
An “unhealed past with Anne Marie” would imply avoidance of her, yet repeated attempts to make contact have provided no reciprocity. Yet the mind cannot NOT receive. I would desire she not deceive herself into thinking another “relationship” will save her from her own sense of insecurity and frustration, and that she could restore the 12 years her acquaintances say she “lost and wasted”. For who will "waste" another 12 years?
In this recent brief exchange with Amando, I see this being still feels I have something to offer him, as he continues to contact me. And this infatuation with Anne Marie implies his contact with her. So I question why Amando and Anne Marie are contacting each other, allying against the one who offered them only that they asked to Receive and now only deny what was Given?
If they have discovered a common bond, what can I add to it? Why would I?
It is Intimated to me that both of these beings sought FOR something outside themselves that they both thought someone else had, which was extended TO them freely for a decade. And yet in their “gratitude” they both remain hostile and indifferent TO the one who offered them that for which they asked upon their discovering they really did NOT desire it.
I would only share the cliché, “Do not kill the messenger”.
If she remains hostile as does he, why is my role further needed if they themselves they have found their respective “peace” within themselves and with each other? And if so why would it not be offered to everyone?
A being that seeks only TO GET will receive what they seek, yet when they did not receive what they thought they wanted, they found only their own emptiness, and their original hostilities remain.
On a final note, to clarify what Amando calls “liberation through avoidance” it is only fair to explain and clear up this obvious distortion. For Anne Marie to return a letter with the words REFUSED is clearly a distorted use of the principle of “liberation through avoidance” and demonstrates a perpetuation of fear and vengeance and the need to justify them within her new found "freedom".
Yet if I am to claim, “Be gone, ego, for I have no use for you” it is to dismiss those who seek to get from others who have nothing to give and would also spark the principle of “liberation through avoidance”, thereby liberating oneself from that which is no longer useful to the receiver. For how can one extend what one IS when they who demand it think it has not been Given or is not what they seek?
Amando and Anne Marie may think about writing and extending their own publication, and build their own websites to extend to others, rather than continue to visit the Wilderness Path.
Stop perpetuating special relationships and a false image of oneself on Facebook.
I thank Spirit for their removal from my world, and wish them well along their respective paths as they join hands and hearts in their desire to comfort each others wounds in their times of need.